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Author’s Note from Pete and Alice in Maine

Alice appeared one evening in April of 2020, when I was down-stairs by the fridge in the dark before bed. My husband was up-stairs, the house was quiet. And her voice came to me. I knew immediately it was Alice, a character I dreamed up many years ago, but had not done anything with. Alice is a New Yorker with a second house in Maine. And now Alice wanted to come to Maine with her husband, Pete, to find refuge from the virus.

Since that March, as Covid descended, I had been concerned about people from away coming to Maine to buy up all the toilet paper, rent Airbnb’s, or retreat to their second houses. I was worried they might take up all the hospital beds. Maine, where I was born and raised, is a poor and aging state. And, at least in our town, our grocery store was rationing toilet paper out of their back room to two rolls a family.

So, when Alice’s voice appeared in my head, I told her to go away, I didn’t have time—I was homeschooling my kids, for God’s sake! And it was too complicated for me to understand her point of view. But she wouldn’t leave. Suddenly I was writing a book about how privileged white people were coming to my vulnerable state. But as I humanized them, I realized that they also carried problems with them and were also seeking safety.

There’s a joke in our family: When someone asks us how a trip or vacation was, we’ll say, “It was great, but we took ourselves with us.” I realized that Pete and Alice might have money and a nice car and a second house, but, like all of us, they bring themselves, too.

2020 was quite a year for my family: Shortly after Alice became my Ancient Mariner, my husband lost his job and went on unemployment. Then, in the fall, while we continued to home-school our kids, I got sick from an autoimmune storm, likely triggered by a virus, which attacked my left eye, my thyroid, and then my pancreas. My eye and thyroid recovered, thankfully, but my pancreas did not. I was diagnosed in January of 2021 with autoimmune type-1 diabetes.

I am a child of divorce and, though I have been married now for fifteen years and have two sons, I can’t say I know any better what magic recipe has so far kept my marriage intact. I am always surprised when some friends’ marriages reach the breaking point when they seemed fixable, at least to me; and others that don’t seem fixable stay together. Pete and Alice became a way for me to explore my questions on the page.

As I started writing from Alice’s perspective, I found myself circling back to important questions I have had—increasingly— about my home state: Who gets to find sanctuary here? What happens to the natural world of Maine when many more people come? How will the influx of new people affect my Maine?

I wrote these pages like I was in a trance. I wrote around the edges of my health crisis, sheltering in place, homeschooling my kids, planning grocery budgets, and stressing about everything that was happening in our country and world. Funnily enough, Pete and Alice became a sort of refuge for me; a reprieve from my own life.

 

 

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